May 18, 2017

Remembering . . .

I have been so thankful for this beautiful month of May, it has always been one of my favourite months and even more so this year with the glorious weather we are having,  the bluest of skies stretching away into the distance, the clouds of delicate blossoms filling hedgerows and new life springing up all around - the lambs and young birds. This month of May has been like a gentle, healing balm and how I need that just now.
My days have been painted with sadness this past while, for we said goodbye to our dear, precious Dad in March. It wasn't expected and we didn't have much time but we were so very blessed to be under the care of the amazing nurses at the Alexandra palliative care unit at our local hospital. They ensured both Dads last days and our days with him were peaceful and gentle as could be and for that we are ever grateful.
When you loose a loved one, suddenly there is a before and an after and life takes on a very different shape. It's as if the  breathe has been knocked right out of you.  It's the kind of heartache you feel in your bones.  This loss is not something you get over, instead it becomes part of who you are and so I am making time; time to recognize this new me, time for quiet moments, time for stillness,  time to remember  and time to treasure the memories.

 I heard this on the radio a while ago: 'When we die, we die twice, once when our last breath leaves our body and again when our name is mentioned for the very last time by the last person to remember us.' 

Well my dear Dad you were so loved by your big, widespread family that your memory will live on for many years to come. You are in every beat of our hearts Dad and you will always be in our memories. We will never be without you.


  1. Hello Ruthie my friend, I'm SO sorry to hear your news about your Dad. You are right for a good while after my Dad died I remember thinking, 'Why is everyone going about as though everything is the same.' It takes it out of you, so do take care of yourself, and sending thoughts and love to you.
    Biggest hug,
    Jane x

  2. It is at this time that often words feel hollow, sending virtual hugs and inner strength. Your Dad lives on in your memories and in your heart. You will carry him with you there. I hope May's gentle beauty keeps on soothing the ache. x

  3. I sympathize with your sorrow softened by a peaceful end of life
    Thank you to share with us pictures of hope and beauty
    warm hugs

  4. Yes, there is my life before my Mum died and my life now after. And it takes the time it takes to integrate the loss and be re-born in a way into one's own life after the loss. Mum died in 2012 and I'm finally at the point where I remember fondly instead of always getting teary, though those moments happen, too. Good to have the gentle spring bring beauty as you hold the grief. Blessings to you.

  5. Ruthie, this beautiful post is a lovely tribute to your Dad. The bluebell woods are really special. ....and haven't the blue skies been fabulous!
    Love and blessings

  6. Ruthie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. This is a lovely post.


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